But it was a good thing.
We dropped of our car to be repaired at McCarty’s on Sunday night, late. I have a Ford Expedition. It’s a 1999 and it has well over 200,000 miles. I am attached to it, because it has served me so well. It has only ever left me stranded once and when it did, it was for our own good. The battery died just as the car ran completely out of oil. (That was about four years ago.) It’s been running really rough for the past several months and I was expecting a costly repair. Only because it has barely needed anything for all these years. Well, and because I am a worrying sort of girl and I almost always expect the worst. We had planned for between $450 and $700.
The grand total was $354 and it is running great.
An unmet expectation that we called a blessing!
And it is a blessing! A blessing that I can definitely get another year or two out of the old girl. A blessing that we had the money to repair it. A blessing that it was less than we expected.
Yesterday, another one of my expectations wasn’t met.
And it wasn’t such a great thing.
Yesterday, on month six of trying, I discovered that I wasn’t pregnant again.
This unmet expectation filled me with disappointment, fear, worry, sadness….longing. This unmet expectation really kind of put me in a funk. Filled me with questions and even a bit of anger. For heaven’s sakes, why is it always harder to get pregnant when you really want to? It’s so easy to have a surprise baby!
These two unmet expectations stirred up very different reactions in me.
And then that sentence gave me pause. These two unmet expectations stirred up very different reactions. I asked the Lord to help me unpack it and figure out what He’s teaching me today.
An unmet expectation that ends positively is called a blessing.
An unmet expectation that ends negatively is called a disappointment.
But where is God in both? We know that He has a plan for us. We can stand on that. We know that in this life there are many troubles, but where is God in blessing and in disappointment?
There have been times when I thought I knew that I knew that I knew what was the best outcome. Things I had prayed for and longed for and desperately wanted. I think of a house that we wanted to rent several years back. It was small and modest and it was a good price. It was going to be a good thing, it was low cost and it was just big enough to hold us. We were SURE that this little three bedroom, room over the garage 1800 square foot house was going to be the perfect place for us. It was in Great Bridge, an hour away from here.
We didn’t get the house.
I cried, I really did and the kids were bitterly disappointed and we were just astounded that God didn’t get us that house.
A few months later, this house that we live in now kind of just fell out of the sky and into your laps. It’s four bedrooms, nearly twice the size, it’s in Grafton (where Aubrey has bloomed), close to my parents and my sister and so many friends and family. We love our home. And we would’ve missed it if our expectations for the other house would’ve been met.
Unmet expectations…sometimes disappointments turn into blessing a little later. Not always…but we still must trust that He is in it. He stands with us, He will bring good.
Because, God works all things together for our good. All things. Every sorrow, every disappointment and every trial. And that is sometimes a bitter pill to swallow…but it is truth.
Listen to this song this morning. Close your eyes and ask God to help you let go of your expectations.