I am decidedly NOT sulking.
It’s a conscious choice.
I’m also NOT stressing.
It’s another conscious choice.
I’m not worried about Thing One and Thing Two. They looked so good on Thursday and the hemorrhage is not actually a huge threat to them…if I follow these bed rest rules. The things that threaten me with worry are these:
-Is the house going to fall to ruin?
-Is this just too much work for John? Is HE going to be stressed out?
-Is Aubrey going to have a crappy summer?
-Are the little girls too bored?
-Will I ever come up with a second boy name? (I think the answer to this one is probably no.)
These are the things that I think about while I rest in my bed. Claire seems unfazed. She brings me books to read and climbs all over me like it’s not the least bit unusual that I’m still in bed. Lila brings in boxes of plastic animals and sets up villages on the floor. Aubrey, Julia and Deanna visit me daily, sitting on the edge of my bed and telling me all about their days. Everyone is coping Just Fine.
John is doing an admirable job managing the house and the little kids, though he’s said more than once, “I don’t know how you do this.” But he’s doing it!
We’ve been blessed by community. Friends to bring meals to feed my sheep and me and to take a little bit of the work load from John. Mom, Dad, Sister and Nieces all came to see me yesterday and the rest of the week promises more visitors.
Apart from a brief respite on Sunday that resulted in a relapse of bleeding…I’ve been in bed since Thursday last week. That’s six days, with ten to go. I am praying that the SBH is healing and will be completely gone by the time I go in on the 29th. Praying and praying. I want to do all the fun things we planned to do this summer.
In the meantime, I keep my eyes on the goal. I read through the name book. I pray. I watch Netflix and check Facebook to see what people who are NOT on bed rest are doing. I try to imagine what it’ll be like to have twins. I don’t sleep because it’s impossible to sleep for long when you’re just in the bed all the time.
I’ve finished “Arrested Development” and need a new series to watch. I tend towards the fun and light hearted and away from the serious or stressful. Any suggestions?