Today’s Words

Last night I got a little stressed out reading success/loss stories.  Apparently, this subchorionic hemorrhage thing happens a lot and I don’t know how I’ve never heard of it before now.  And apparently, though it usually ends up okay, it’s more complicated with twins and sometimes it doesn’t end up okay at all.

It’s unnerving.  And so it’s an exercise in living in the moment, trusting Him and following Doctor’s orders.

I’m still really just praying it’s all cleared up when I go in on the 29th…I want out of this bed and back to my life.  But I want these babies safe and sound too.

So, today, I didn’t read any success/loss stories.  I stayed away from Dr. Google and read Jenny Lawson’s book instead on my brand new Nook Color.  (A gift from my mother in law.  The thing is so cool!)    It’s hilarious and it’s my favorite genre- memoir.  Or, as she says, a mostly true memoir.

I’m loving the book and I recommend it but not if you’re sensitive to cursing.  There’s a lot of language.  She’s very real and unapologetically who she is…and if I knew her in real life, we would be friends, for sure.

But, of course, if you haven’t read One Thousand Gifts yet, you have to read that first!

It did me good to laugh today instead of research.  I also took a nap so I’d say that was a day well spent.

In spite of my extra long conference with Dr. Google last night and the rest of the journey that lays ahead…I feel peace.  I feel your prayers.  I feel very supported by all who send texts, Facebook messages, calls, visits, food, offers of kid help.  We feel our community’s presence and it is good.

My husband is managing the household, getting people picked up and dropped off, taking care of the little ones and is doing it all with a positive attitude.  He brings me food 100 times a day (How am I so hungry?  I’m in bed, doing literally nothing.) with a smile every time.  He’s changing diapers, washing dishes, taking the dog out, reading stories and praying for me whenever I start to lose it.  One of the things I’m most thankful for right now is that this happened when he was finished teaching for the year.  What if I had gotten pregnant earlier in the year?  What would we have done then?

I keep feeling like maybe this time on bed rest is a chance for me to try out my thankfulness skills, to wear my new attitude through a bit of a valley.  Not that I’m being tested, necessarily…but maybe I’m being given an opportunity to exercise these new muscles?

 

We’ll see how tomorrow goes.  Nine days until the next appointment!

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