I maybe didn’t realize how much I was walking on eggshells until after I’d been to EVMS on Friday.
A quick recap:
Last year, I lost a baby in late August
Nine months later, I found out I was pregnant- May 20th.
June 6- we saw two sacs on ultrasound, one with a tiny baby, one without
June 6- later that day, I had my first big bleed
June 13- we saw two beautiful heartbeats on ultrasound but continued to bleed
June 14- Big bleed but two healthy heartbeats, bed rest is prescribed
June 24- diagnosed with subchorionic hemorrhage after another big bleed
July 13- another big bleed, but two healthy heartbeats on ultrasound
July 16- discovered the loss of Asher, baby B at EVMS and the fact that there were two subchorionic hemorrhages
July something or other- met with my o.b. and we agreed to give up on bed rest since I was past the first trimester and bed rest didn’t seem to be helping anyway. Baby A continues to do well.
August 17: We discover (at EVMS) that our baby is a daughter!
August 30: Another EVMS ultrasound shows that our daughter, Nora, is healthy but her placenta has some issues- placenta previa and possibly the very scary vasa previa.
But then we had the appointment on Friday and only good came from it. Nora “passed” all of her screenings for genetic problems and she was perfect on the anatomy ultrasound. She measures just right and has all the things she’s supposed to have and she is just fearfully and wonderfully made.
My hemorrhages have dwindled to just a few small spots. My placenta previa is still present, but mostly seems to just mean that I’ll have to have a c-section…which was already planned for. There was NO vasa previa that they could find and vasa previa was the biggest threat to Nora.
The doctor said, “We don’t need to see you for eight more weeks and you can consider yourself graduated. You’re no longer high risk.”
This means that the rest of my pregnancy MIGHT PROGRESS NORMALLY!
It means I can breathe easier. And I am breathing easier. I’m feeling like making plans and making preparation and dreaming about this sixth baby as though she will actually come. It feels more real now.
I am so thankful for all of the prayers, good thoughts and cheerleading that my community of family and friends has given on our behalf. I am so thankful for the thirty five meals that were brought to my family while I was unable to care for them myself. Every text, email, Facebook message, call and visit…I just don’t have words. We are so thankful.
My husband did my work and his own too. He took care of the house and the children, the dog, driving big girls here and there, praying for me…he did it all without a word of complaint. And now he says he has a greater appreciation for the trials of the stay at home mom.
And so, this morning…I am thinking about all of this. The loss last summer, the pregnancy and all that’s come with it, other trials we’ve faced…I’m overcome with gratitude that this time, God has given us back our baby and He has chosen healing. But more than that, I’m grateful that He is who He says He is. And that even though I’ve seen loss, even though I’ve suffered trials, He never changes. I can stand on His word, His truth, His promises. No matter what storms may come. He is not going to just give me the outcome I want if I pray hard enough. But He is going to stand with me through whatever comes.
I will raise the banner. He is good. Always. And I’ve learned to say that when He gives and when He takes away. When I get what I want and when I don’t. He is good.
This morning, even if I’d had a different result at the appointment on Friday…I would still raise the banner. He is good. He never changes. He is love. Hard things come, the Bible promises they will, but the Lord is with us. He is with me. He is with Nora. And I am so grateful that I had a good outcome to report and I absolutely attribute it to His healing power and presence in my life.