But, Not Tonight

Okay, so it’s an emotional time of year anyway.  It’s the holidays…and we’re in the process of adopting which is hard and it’s a roller coaster and it’s so, so long.  And, my oldest kid is getting married.  FEELINGS LIKE WHOA.

And then I see on Facebook that Scott Weiland died.  And like a crazy person, I literally burst into tears.  Like, had to hold back the ugly cry tears.  As though he were someone in my real life.

And it’s not like I was an enormous fan of Velvet Revolver and certainly not of Stone Temple Pilots…but.

Scott Weiland once did a Depeche Mode cover that was on some weird movie soundtrack…honestly I don’t even remember…I don’t even like covers.

But when I began to come back to life after my divorce, I loved that song and I listened to it all the time.  The harmonies, the guitar, the textures of Weiland’s voice…It became my theme song.

It was a Monument to the turning of the tide.  

Thanks Scott Weiland.

Sometimes people have no idea the impact they have on others.  And there is no shame in crying real tears over a life lost….

But Not Tonight

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Oh God, it’s raining
But I’m not complaining
It’s filling me up
With new life

The stars in the sky
Bring tears to my eyes
They’re lighting my way
Tonight

And I haven’t felt so alive
In years

Just for a day
On a day like today
I’ll get away from
This constant debauchery

The wind in my hair
Makes me so aware
How good it is to live
Tonight

And I haven’t felt so alive
In years

The moon is shining in the sky
Reminding me
Of so many other nights
But they’re not like tonight

Oh God, it’s raining
And I’m not containing
My pleasure at being
So wet

Here on my own
All on my own
How good it feels to be alone
Tonight

And I haven’t felt so alive
In years

The moon is shining in the sky
Reminding me
Of so many other nights
When my eyes have been so red
I’ve been mistaken for dead

Not tonight
Not tonight
Not tonight

 

 

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