Hopes and Prayers


John tells me how beautiful Bulgaria is.  And I know that it must be.  It’s the place that gave us our daughter.


He knows her now.  He has played with her, held her, embraced her, been growled at by her and been totally ignored by her.  He knows her.

I can’t REALLY show photos…she’s still not ours.  She belongs to her country and she is happy and safe and so well loved in her foster family.

So now, we get paperwork together.  We write her new name…Sylvia Grace Virginia Carter.  We get fingerprinted.  Again.  We pray.  We miss her.  John misses the Sisi he knows.  I miss the Sisi I want to know.

And that’s a whole other thing.  We’ve been talking about Sylvie and who she is and what she will be like; but for four years, a little girl named Sisi has been existing and living life.  We have to let go of our dreams of Sylvie and our imaginings of what she is like and embrace the Sisi that IS.  It’s the reconciling of dreams and expectations with reality.  Like when you give birth…and the little life you thought you knew in the womb is different than you imagined.

Sisi is somebody.  She has eternal significance and she is fearfully and wonderfully made.  And while it doesn’t feel much like rescue (she has the most beautiful and loving foster family), adopting her is shifting her destiny and changing her future.  It’s changing things in the world.

I long for her to be with us, to be in the midst of our glorious chaos, shaking things up and shaking them down.  I want to hear her loud voice demanding the “Telefono!”  I want her home.

But I also grieve for her family.  Her foster mom and dad and sisters.  They have adored her…lavished love on her.  They have invested in her ever since she was a tiny baby.  And now they let go with grace and love…There are not words to describe how I feel about them and the brutal beauty of their sacrifice.

You can help in this final leg of the journey.


  • Pray for us to finish this final paperwork.
  • Pray for fundraising and grants to come through
  • Pray for preparing of hearts for this Bulgarian Princess
    • Mommy and Daddy’s hearts
    • Lila and Claire’s hearts
    • Nora’s heart, this may be hardest for her
  • Pray for her foster family. Their grief will be great.
  • Pray for her to be home by Christmas.  This is my hope and prayer…that she would be with us for Christmas.