The truth is, I don’t blog much anymore.
The truth is, I don’t have many answers.
I find it hard now. Hard to sit down and write. Hard to pour out my heart on this page, typing out heartbeats and tears. Hard sometimes to find my way back to the truth that makes it all a little bit more okay. That makes me a little bit more okay.
That makes it possible to put one foot in front of the other.
The truth is, I’m finding it really hard to reach out and grab those truths. They are like soap bubbles, popping against my fingerprints.
And it’s not any one thing. Just life. Big Life Things. Little Life Things. Faith things.
I wrestle. I weep. I worship.
There is just this one question rising up.
God, what does your “good” look like?
Because I know that you are real. I know that you are Good.
I know that you love me, that you work all things together for my good.
I know your word is truth. That your Holy Spirit brings peace that is real and true and not like the world gives.
But God, what does your “good” look like?
Because I don’t think it looks like the world says it does.
It doesn’t look like easy money, easy days, easy relationships. It doesn’t look like smooth sailing on calm seas. It doesn’t look like always getting a perfect parking place or the best price on toilet paper. It doesn’t look like #tooblessedtobestressed. I know it doesn’t because I’m so very blessed but I’m so very stressed. Stressed to breaking sometimes.
But I think the good is to be found in that broken place. That’s where his good is.
He is Jehovah Jireh. The God who provides.
He is Jehovah Rapha. The God who heals.
He is Jehovah Nissi. The Lord, my banner.
He is Jehovah Shalom. The God who is my peace.
He is Jehovah Ra-ah. The Lord, my shepherd.
He is Jehovah El Roi. The God who sees me.
He is good. And I want to know what that means.
What does it mean to you?