Happy Birthday to Me

I remember when I was in my late twenties and my thirties were approaching.  I was so worried about that, about getting older…

Poor little 29 year old me.  I just want to go and give her a hug and tell her this:

Just start being you.  You’re going to LOVE being you.  And getting older is such a good, good gift.

I’m 43 today.  Yes, 43.  A number that would’ve made 29 year old me’s eyes bug out.  I’ve seen Hurricane Isabel wreck my house, my sister nearly die from an infection after her first baby, the loss of an extremely close friend (all of those in three months), a divorce, the loss of two babies, the preemie baby/percreta drama of November 2012, the beginnings of international adoption and So Much Life and Love.

I’ve learned how to Be Still and Know. I’ve learned that the only thing that never changes is God.  I’ve learned that life is so short.  So short.  And that every single day is a gift.  I’ve learned that God made me to be this quirky weirdo that I am and that to try and be anything else is cheating myself and calling His creation not good enough.

I’ve learned to be thankful.

Yes, I am a thankful 43 year old this morning.  Thankful for my beautiful family, for my favorite friends, for my church, for my heroes in the faith…I’m thankful that I am alive…because there was a day in November 2012 where I almost wasn’t.  Thankful that I can lean on My Beloved, that Jesus is always near…

I feel this year coming.  A year bursting with new things and changes and jubilee.  I just feel it.

I will welcome my daughter Sylvie home while I’m 43.  I will welcome my daughter’s wedding to God’s best for her while I’m 43.  I will watch my kids and my nieces and nephew and all my other little loves grow and change while I’m 43.  I will get better at marriage and home and living authentically in 43.  I will draw and paint and Be Still and Know….I will sing.  I will love my friends and family and do all I can to see needs and meet them.

I will weather the hard things because God walks with me.

I will rejoice in the great things because God walks with me.

What have you learned as you’ve grown older?

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Worth It

We are surrounded by encouragers.

What a gift a positive word is.

Yesterday was a wild day, lots of ups and downs and stressors.  Today looks brighter, but fibro has come to visit today. I’ll be forced to be still and know today.

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I believe in speaking truth about where you are in your journey.  Feel awful?  Say so.  Feel overwhelmed?  Say so.  Feel heartsick?  Say so.  I’ve long believed that things hidden, things in the dark lose their power when drug into the light.  So I tell the truth.  And my village receives me in my truth and speaks life and light into me.

Texts, Facebook messages, calls…all came through as we waded through the muck and mud of yesterday.  All with the same word:

God has GOT this.  He is with you.

And then this picture of this recued one in my Facebook messenger this morning.

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She’s the reason we know we can fight this thing all the way through.  She’s the reason we know that we can handle whatever comes our way. She has given us a face to the needs of the orphan. She has shown us the joy of being in a family, of being rescued.  She illustrates how we are all fearfully and wonderfully made and she is so specifically Aila, created in His image….

And her mama typed these words to me:  “She is here.  You can do it.  It’s going to be worth it.”

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I want Sylvie to have the joy that Aila does. To know that she belongs to us.  We want to teach her that she is created in His image.

God’s got this.
We can do it.
It’s going to be worth it.