I wake on Day 5 of this miserable flu achy and uncomfortable. I stand and stretch, hoping for a glimmer of hope that today might be the day this thing starts on its way out.
I curl into bed with Pandora singing praise to Abba Father, a fat orange cat at my feet. A daughter brings me coffee and tells me of the morning’s adventures. I feel at peace and I feel loved because there are so many good things in this morning. Flu aside.
It’s been a slow pace but I’ve been at rest in my soul because of all the time for pauses to Behold and Be Loved. I pray a quick prayer- Help me to find my way to your feet when the days get busy again.
And I suddenly have this realization.
He never meant for us to go at this breakneck pace, trying to achieve, striving to cross all the things off of our to do list, doing all the tasks that society insists we must do. Here we are, trying to outshine that tireless Proverbs 31 gal. And it leaves us so tired and feeling so passed over.
Because no matter how much we do…it is never really enough for that barometer of accomplishment that lives in our heart.
I read through Proverbs 31 again. Is there something I’m missing? Something that makes it all work for that busy Proverbs 31 girl?
She is clothed in Strength and Dignity. How did she get that way? How did she wrap herself in Strength? How did she clothe herself in Dignity? She wrapped herself in God. She clothed herself in who she is in Him. This is why she laughs with no fear of the future. She is God’s own. She is like Mary at His feet, wrapping herself in His love and peace and strength and majesty, surrounding herself in His goodness.
She sees her God as the true God that He is. He is the only Holy One, the only Uncreated Being, the one who holds us and everything else in His hands. He is the One who goes to war for us, He is the One who quiets us with singing. He is the One who Sees, who Plans, who will not fail. And this is why…this is why she has a whole chapter of Proverbs devoted to her. It’s not because of all that spinning or field buying or food making or planting or helping the poor or loving on the needy. It’s not because she is amazing at loving her husband and her kids and her servants.
It’s because she knows who He is…and she makes a place in her heart and her day to honor that.
Yeah, she gets her stuff done, but she’s laughing while she’s doing it because she knows what makes her heart sing. She gets the mystery of Deep crying out to Deep.
And so all of these years of my feeling annoyed with this woman I’ll see in eternity because she’s such a busy bee…they are wasted because her greater legacy was missed. Oh comparison…such a tool of the Enemy.
My prayer today is that I will pause and take a sacred breath and just stand in His holiness…all throughout every day. Not just sick days. I will Behold this One who made a way for me to come to Him.